Saturday, January 20, 2007
ready or not
So, we're moving along.
I've been on bcps for a while now and have added the baby aspirin and have an appointment for a mock transfer and another for a suppression check.
We're giving IVF a whirl.
Have any of you made the decision to do ivf without being sure it was the right thing to do?
P and I have gone back and forth on this issue during the last three years. We've both been 100% for and against it (for us) but usually we've been on the same page at the same time. Now P wants to try ivf. I think it's important to him to give it a shot at least once.
I'm feeling lots of things. Ambivalent. Afraid. Confused. Done. Hopeful. I've agreed to do it but...
I'm not sure it's what we should do.
I'm worried about money.
I'm worried about how I'll react to the increase in drugs.
I'm worried we're making the wrong choice.
I don't want to let P down.
I don't want to let myself down.
I asked P if he'd feel worse if we tried and it didn't work or if we never tried and just moved on. He really wants to try. I've let myself be swept along because I'm not sure. I don't think I have to be sure, I just wish I was.