Saturday, January 20, 2007

ready or not

So, we're moving along.

I've been on bcps for a while now and have added the baby aspirin and have an appointment for a mock transfer and another for a suppression check.

We're giving IVF a whirl.

Have any of you made the decision to do ivf without being sure it was the right thing to do?

P and I have gone back and forth on this issue during the last three years. We've both been 100% for and against it (for us) but usually we've been on the same page at the same time. Now P wants to try ivf. I think it's important to him to give it a shot at least once.

I'm feeling lots of things. Ambivalent. Afraid. Confused. Done. Hopeful. I've agreed to do it but...

I'm not sure it's what we should do.

I'm worried about money.

I'm worried about how I'll react to the increase in drugs.

I'm worried we're making the wrong choice.

I don't want to let P down.

I don't want to let myself down.

I asked P if he'd feel worse if we tried and it didn't work or if we never tried and just moved on. He really wants to try. I've let myself be swept along because I'm not sure. I don't think I have to be sure, I just wish I was.


Cat, Galloping said...

you know what i think...

wishing you the best, my friend!

r.a.w. said...

I don't know if it is possible to be 100% sure about ANYTHING in this process. But I hope that this works for you. At the very least, it won't be the "stone left unturned" on this journey. Good luck to both you and P.

Heather said...

I'm sorry that you two aren't on the same page.

I hope that it works for you on the first try.

Irish Girl said...

"I don't think I have to be sure, I just wish I was."

Me too, my friend, me too.

Try not to overthink it. The outcome is out of your hands anyway. That said, you may be worried ... and I will be hopeful for you! Keep us posted.

GLouise said...

I was feeling many of the same things about a year ago. We decided to try IVF at least once, just so that we would know we gave it our best shot. As you know from my blog, it didn't work out that way, but I am glad that I at least tried it. It wasn't a huge financial hit for us, since my insurance covered 80% of the cost. If not for that, we probably would not have gone for it.

Wishing you all the best!!!

Peter said...

We weren't really given an option to IVF. Mine is sever MFI, so ICSI was always the only chance, so I can't speak to whether it was the right choice or not.

But your list is fears sounds about right :(

Good Luck