Thursday, May 31, 2007

state of the ute: 16 weeks

miscellaneous pains on one side only + pain when urinating without a UTI = bonus pants-free u/s with complimentary probe action. Result? Pain is, as I predicted, most likely absolutely normal ligament/growth pain. I think one of the things that has surprised me most about being pregnant is how many little (and big) aches and pains there are. I don't know why that comes as a surprise, but there you have it.

Also, I have marginal placenta previa. This is the part where it sucks a little.

Marginal previa is really not a big deal. It means that the placenta is growing within 2cm of the cervix. In my case it's a lot closer than that (less than 1cm) so my doc has put me on pelvic rest. Ugh. Just when sex was getting interesting again. At least I vacuumed the entire house before my appointment because I'm not allowed now. Some women who have this aren't told to restrict anything. I could just do what I want, but honestly, I like that my doctor is a little on the cautious side with these things. He seemed totally unworried, though, so that's a good thing.

The problem with placenta previa (where the placenta completely covers the cervix) (if you care and don't know) is that you are at great risk for bleeding/hemorrhage prior to and/or during delivery and the only way to deliver safely is by c-section.

With marginal previa, the majority of cases resolve themselves during/by the third trimester. As the uterus grows, the placenta is typically pulled up and away from the cervix, usually far enough to have a safe vaginal delivery. In my case, we have several centimeters to go before that could happen. 2cm is sometimes enough, though 5cm away is much better. I am of the "better safe than sorry" camp as far as this pregnancy goes, and honestly, I just don't think that a c-section is the worst thing ever (I can think of many worse things. Bet you can too.) It's still super-early for that talk though, as we have weeks and weeks to go. Just explaining, really.

(skip this part if you don't want to hear me complain about trivial things)

On measurement. I love, love, love that my doctor has an ultrasound machine and that he's very liberal with the use of it. I almost always feel confident about this pregnancy and this baby. It seems like when I get really close to an appointment I lose some of that confidence. So it's always reassuring to see the creature moving about and hear the heartbeat (still a solid 160.) However, the (yes, totally silly) peeve that I have is that the pictures suck. I've seen lots of pictures from this stage and earlier and they're so great. Clear, obvious, human babies. Ok sometimes they're alien-like, but still. Clear. I don't know if it's the machine (P thinks it's like the very first u/s ever) or if it's that the doc is a sucky photographer, but the shots are terrible. This is a stupid thing to complain about, I know.

I think one of the reasons that it bothers me is that I'm away from home. I'm very close to my family and I've not been able to share this with them. I hate that I can hear the sadness in my mom's voice when she asks me if I'm showing and I tell her yes. I hate describing "newfangled" maternity clothes to my grandma and having to explain technological advances over the phone. I just miss them. They love getting pictures and it's very disappointing to have to say, "sorry, you can maybe make out a head on this one. Let me know if you need me to tell you where it is." And having my mom reply asking for helpful arrows and descriptions because she can't see anything. Not the worst thing in the world, obviously, but kind of demoralizing for me.


Next week I have my "big" hospital ultrasound. They're going to check the placenta more closely, and give my doctor a more thorough evaluation on that matter in addition to all the regular stuff they're looking for. You might be thinking that 17 weeks is too early, but I've been down that road with my doctor and he wants to do it now. What's the worst that could happen? I have to go back? No big deal. And he wants more details on the placenta and I'm ok with that.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

I did it all for you.

Recently, the baby has decided it wants a steak. I don't want a steak, so I assume it must be the parasite ordering room service. Little bugger really does take after P.

In a bizarre turn of events, I went to the store, approached the guy with the big knife and all the meat, and bought a couple of tenderloins (no hamburger would do!) My delighted husband prepared them and we all ate. For the first time in years, it wasn't awful.

Monday, May 21, 2007

glory be to the elastic waistband

WHO is in charge of keeping the secret of how great maternity clothes feel? I finally decided to end the "I'm a (chubby) slob" look and buy shirts that fit. And they DO! I also got a pair of shorts (though I typically loathe wearing shorts, I also have a low tolerance for heat and being pg over summer... anyway, they were on clearance for $11.)

P wanted to see what I got, and since I got such a lovely reception when I showed him my new bras, I felt confident in putting on a show.

I don't think I usually fit well in clothes. I always feel like they don't fall quite right and then I feel lumpy or uncomfortable or awkward. So far, maternity clothes have been awesome! My shirts have room for expansion without looking too sloppy (or too tight.) P, ever the fashion critic, seemed pleased that I'd actually bought something for myself and I could tell that he liked how I looked. I didn't realize how much my confidence could improve with a new shirt and a compliment. I'm sure this is also to do with the deeper psychological effect of having success after years of failure, but for that moment I just felt like a regular girl getting a compliment from her guy and it was great.

I'm still in desperate need of new pants though. It's a task I typically dread, pants shopping, but somehow the success of my new shirts has given me courage. (Now I just have to find the Old Navy with the maternity section and I'll be set!) That, and the super-comfy waistband of the shorts I bought has shown me the error of the rubberband on the too-tight pants trick. Get this- you can sit down without undoing your pants, the rubberband never falls off onto the bathroom floor, and when you're feeling bloated, your stomach is not in a bind! It's a win all around, really.

I know I have a few due date buddies, and all I can say is: Go for the new pants, you'll need them eventually, and you'll feel so much better!

Friday, May 18, 2007

i'm not just me anymore

I woke up in the middle of the night with the strangest feeling. I was on my back and I could feel my stomach. Not with my hands. I had the distinct sensation that there was a part of my stomach that was not mine. I could feel it, but it felt separate. Very odd (and difficult to describe.)

On the subject of sleep. I suck at it now. I wake up all the time, I'm sore, and this sounds really whiny, I know, but I can't seem to help it. My bones feel like they don't go together properly. My hips are sore and so is my back. So far, the addition of extra pillows has done nothing but get in the way. I've been feeling much better overall, and the extreme tiredness is relenting. Or was, until yesterday, when I woke up feeling so tired that I thought I was going to fall down and die. I'm pretty sure this is how life prepares you for having a baby. I got my mom's confirmation on that. Anyway, I didn't mean for this to be a complaint post, so we'll just leave that there.

In general, in spite of any little aches or discomforts, I'm finding myself more and more... happy (and terrified, of course, but I'm pretty sure it's the happy that's important!)

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

confident and paranoid

I've been feeling better. I've been going outside! Of my house! Also, after doing no exercise at all since starting stims in February, I'm finally back on the treadmill. I've only been walking (slowly, and only for 30 minutes at a time) and thinking about increasing because all seemed to be going so well.

Last night I had some lower back pain (exactly like how it felt just before a period) and it freaked me out. Up until now I've had an assortment of aches and pains, but none that have struck me as possibly abnormal. I thought I was all confident and secure and all that, but last night my paranoia and worry came back all over again. After sleeping, I feel somewhat better (much less woried.)

Today I'm resting.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Girl's Best Day Ever

Ok, so when you're a golden retriever puppy, EVERY day is the Best Day Ever, but there's something about rolling around in the mud (three houses down!), getting chased with a hose (and then tied to the deck for a better cleaning) and then having a bonus bath. With treats!

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Second Trimester!


Ok, now that we have that out of the way, I have a teeny-tiny vent about some people I know who may or may not be related to the baby and may mean well, but are driving me up the ever-loving wall where I can't even drink. Mixed-freaking metaphors.

For the love of (insert any freaking thing here) please, please, PLEASE stop asking when we'll know if it's a boy or a girl. We've told you. Several times. MANY times. That we MIGHT be able to find out in JUNE. We PROMISE to tell you when we know. I FREAKING SWEAR that it's NOT A SECRET so STOP ASKING. I'm dying to know too, you know, but I'm also getting to be a bit cranky about this (really? you couldn't tell?) and I've half a mind (literally) to not tell you at all.

Also, you just made me use a ton of caps, which I loathe.

Some picture posts to come soon (probably.)

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

10 Things I've Been Doing Instead of Blogging

1. Trying to determine whether my doctor meant 12 or 13 when he said to stop injecting PIO at "12 or 13 weeks." And does that mean the end or the beginning of weeks 12 or 13?

I had my very last injection of the stuff last Thursday at 12 weeks exactly. I have had no side effects coming off of it. No cramping, no bleeding. There are still some sore spots, but they're going away. And my ass doesn't itch any longer! YAY! I meant to blog about this.

2. Preparing house for houseguests who have never been to my house before, ever, but who are coming now and staying overnight for three nights. SO much harder when you're too tired to clean the entire house from top to bottom in one giant cleaning day like I usually would. I keep pretty clean to start, so it's not like it's hard or anything, but I find that I can still only do so much in one day. Pain in the ass, that. Plus, there's the added bonus of nagging P to keep things clean when he's not quite as neat as I am.

3. Taking my sick Big Kitty to the vet because he vomited twice in 24 hours and had diarrhea in several spots on the floor in the room where the litter box is. Very odd. I took him to the vet, where the vet said that if I hadn't told him that the cat had these symptoms, he'd look at the cat and think he was fine. I left with tuna-flavored antibiotics, (which smelled SO awful, and my cat did NOT think they tasted like tuna) bland wet food that the cat refused to eat, and a syringe that I was supposed to fill with Imodium and give to the cat. He was better in 24 hours and we have no idea what caused the Big D in the first place. Not that I care.

4. Bathing my Woolly Mammoth of a puppy against his will. Boy is getting BIG. I have no pictures of this event, as I was busy keeping him from escaping the tub, but let me tell you it was a challenge. I had to tie him to the tub. The only way to get him to turn his head for the briefest of moments is to offer him a treat. Then he continues to plot his escape.

5. Going to Canada with my houseguests. We went to the CN tower, which is the tallest freestanding structure in the world. They say that they built it as a radio tower or something, but I'm pretty sure it was so they could get $21 a person to go up it. There's a glass floor at one part where you can look straight down. It was built to hold the weight of 14 large hippos, so I thought it sounded pretty safe for me to stand on.

6. Having my first real craving. In general, I don't eat meat. On occasion, I have had chicken, but I'd very happily live without it. Especially since the Chinese food night. No more chicken for me until further notice (my grandma is now worried. "Are you sure it's really safe to eat a vegetarian diet while you're pregnant?")

I wanted a steak. BAD. P had been talking to someone about a particular fillet at Ruth's Chris, and I've been wanting it since Easter. My mom said it must be a real craving if I was wanting beef. So I had it. And the baby was happy.

7. Thinking about blogging. Like I said, I was going to blog about the end of PIO, putting my needles away, photographing them, etc. but I didn't get to it that day. Then I was busy. I realized that my next appointment was Monday and I kind of felt like waiting, because as much as I'm really in a good place about the chances of getting to live baby, I just had this feeling that I should wait to say more until after the next appointment. I felt like I needed to see the heartbeat once more. I've been thinking a lot about making it to the second trimester (Thursday) and how I'll feel then.

8. Getting another look at our wiggly grey offspring (I must admit, I am hoping he comes out in color.) The very first thing I intended to look for when my fetus came into view was the heartbeat. I was, however, distracted by the way he was frantically kicking his legs. The little sticks were the very first things I noticed. He refused to sit still for a picture and the one I have is so blurry I had to ask the doctor where the baby went. He did this the last time too, except then it was flips or spins or something. On the screen he was very clear though. I was relieved to see that he appears to be a human, and the doctor wondered if I was expecting something else. I wasn't, but it's still nice to be sure.

He's going to have to cut down on some of that activity at some point, because there's not going to be room in there forever for his marathons (P thinks he's a runner) or his tumbling or soccer or karate practice or whatever he's doing in there for too long. My ribs aren't looking forward to the future.

We also heard the heartbeat on the doppler for the first time. 160. Very cool.

You may have noticed that I've used the masculine pronoun. Means nothing except I didn't feel like saying "it" today. I use them both at home, but just picked one for today for continuity.

9. Whining about how I have nothing to wear because it's getting warmer and the only things that fit are winter clothes. I bought some new bras and my breasts thank me for it, but they weren't the only problem. Apparently when your breasts enlarge your shirt rides up more. And that's not even accounting for the poochy stomach. All short sleeve shirts are inappropriate without wearing something underneath. I wear a long tank under everything. Every day. Like many pregnant people, I'd like to look more pregnant and less fat. I'm sure I'll get my wish soon enough. I do need to go shopping though.

10. Taking a nap. I intended to write this post all day (ok, to be honest, I meant to post yesterday) but it seemed like quite a task and I had to take a nap first. It was lovely. I woke up all on my own. I am very cranky when woken up against my will already, and I haven't been sleeping that well lately, so the nap was a good thing.