Wednesday, November 30, 2005

It's just not always my turn

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You never know who you're going to have to share the computer with.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

stupid freakin' body

In all the time I've been off birth control (and heck, even when I was on it) I've never had mid-cycle spotting. Ever. I've been charting for the last couple years with different amounts of dedication, but I'm really sure on the start dates for each cycle. So yesterday, I noticed a very light pink spotting that's unlike my pre/post period spotting. Today, I have even more light pink spotting. But still not with that "super fertile" cervical fluid that's supposed to get you knocked up like a drunk sixteen year old in the back of her boyfriend's pickup truck "on her very first time." Gah.

Oh, and P hasn't been interested in sex in days.

I was lamenting my problem last night during my newfound insomnia. One of the big problems that IF couples and TTC couples seem to face has to do with the sex-on-demand thing. It occurred to me that we've never really had that problem. And why not? Is it because we're both so hot for each other that timing is irrelevant? Is it because P is freakishly involved and takes my temperature each morning and record it on my chart and pay attention to when it's show time? Is P so dense that he hasn't caught on to my clever seduction techniques that come out at regular intervals? Nope. Not really.

It's that in the beginning I decided that I didn't want to pressure P to ever have sex just for this when he didn't feel like it. So I never have. This has worked for us fairly well. He knows I don't see him as a giant sperm factory and so he hasn't come to resent the process of baby-making (infertility and treatment aside.) I know that there have been times that there was virtually no chance of a spontaneous pregnancy (again, IF aside) because of crappy sex timing. It bums me out sometimes, but I think it's the best thing for our marriage.

So here I am. Stupid spotting, stupid strange crampy feeling, stupid uninterested husband, stupid burned tongue from dinner.

Shocking that I can't get laid.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

hmmm... what else?

1. I've started to create links. I'm not done. I got bored, so I'm only doing a couple at a time. There will be more.

2. I really like that this picture is on my yahoo front page
P really, really, REALLY wants a golden puppy. I want a puppy in theory. I like to look at puppies. I think it would be great for a kid (haha) to grow up with a dog. I don't really want to clean up their messes (the dog, I'm on board with kid messes.) I've been able to put him off so far with "after we move," but now that moving is in a matter of months and not just theoretical, I may be in trouble.

3. I have a story about P and "The Power of the Penis" that was really funny but I'm having a difficult time translating it into a blog post. I'm also a little nervous about posting something to do with sex.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

It hasn't been my day, my month, or even my year, BUT...

... finally, after months of waiting, my Friends are here for me!

(also, my obsessive need for order has been satisfied by having the complete set.)

With Love,
Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Monday, November 14, 2005

ok, that's just scary

I copied this from Julie and I have to say, I'm a little frightened by my results (she's a freakin' professor and I'm a demon? Check out my wicked claws!)

Your Monster Profile

Psychotic Demon

You Feast On: Power Bars

You Lurk Around In: The Empire State Building

You Especially Like to Torment: Groupies

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

dream blogger

Last night, as I thrashed about trying to fall asleep, I composed a brilliant and insightful post in my head. I knew I should write something down so I'd remember, but I (foolishly) thought that If I could just remember part of it, the rest would come together.

I remember "nesting dolls."

It'll probably come to me when I'm driving.


1. cramps. painful, inconvenient, bastard cramps. ute likely falling out.
2. must purchase appropriate footwear for P's work party. have little extra money and hate shopping for uncomfortable shoes. will go tomorrow instead due to #1.
3. low on f'in tampons. hope supply lasts until tomorrow because leaving the house today=no.
4. must locate specific belt for lazy husband.
5. husband pissing me off, though he hasn't exactly done anything.
6. mustard container won't squeeze out mustard. tried to fix container. mustard covering shirt.
7. oh good. tampon leaked. fuck. must clean bathroom floor and panties. massacre.
8. panties and mustard shirt to laundry.
9. husband comes home early. sight of him is annoying. not his fault, but calling me cranky when I clearly AM cranky not his most brilliant move ever.
10. husband points out tear in favorite sheets. not fixable. kitten notices tear and plays inside.
11. kitten wrecked the underside of the box spring. box spring now has holes. is obnoxious to listen to as he abandons tear in sheet to climb into the bed.
12. SuperTwirl lifts mattress, box spring off frame to remove kitten. kitten proves elusive and evades CrampingTwirl.
13. trick kitten into leaving bedroom and lock him out.
14. husband enters bedroom, allowing kitten to reenter.
15. pretend not to notice.
16. cry.
17. curl up in discarded covers on floor and take long nap.
18. wake up when husband takes picture of Twirl with GoodKitty sleeping on floor next to disassembled bed.
19. pretend not to and go back to sleep.
20. wake up for real and remove filmy lining from underside of box spring. decide to fix another time.
21. put bed back together.
22. remove clothes from dryer an put away.
23. dishes still not clean, husband reading magazine. martyr self and do dishes in pain.
24. sit at computer and pout. do NOT make dinner.
25. watch tv.
26. have tea for dinner at 8:30. popsicle at 9. don't care about nutritional content.
27. go to bed with husband.
28. do not hurt husband when he hugs and says, "why didn't you let me be nice to you today?" because fighting sucks and sleeping is better and the hug is really the best part of the whole bastard day.
29. being in the middle of a husband-wife-kitty sandwich doesn't always suck.

Friday, November 04, 2005

I was right.


Apparently my
infertile radar is in good working order and she is indeed pregnant. I am really happy for them. Really. But I'm sad for me.

Is it my turn yet? Soon?

There's another big work party next week and I'm really not looking forward to it. We're the only ones without kids and I'm due to start my period just then. Ahhh, painkillers and wine. Cheers!

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Links for the over-thinkers

I was thinking it would be nice to add a few links to my sidebar. I know that when I go blog-reading, I have a few "regulars" but I also like to go from blog to blog with no plan and see who I meet out there. So in the interest of fairness, I feel as though I ought to participate in the great blog link.

But who do I choose? There are so many great blogs to read, and I don't want my list to go on forever. I don't think I want the "standard" list with all the same people on it because that's just boring. I also like to read about a variety of things. I enjoy the IF/adoption blogs, but recently I've become a fan of teacher blogs (more on that in another post.)

How did you choose who to link to?