Saturday, November 19, 2005

stupid freakin' body

In all the time I've been off birth control (and heck, even when I was on it) I've never had mid-cycle spotting. Ever. I've been charting for the last couple years with different amounts of dedication, but I'm really sure on the start dates for each cycle. So yesterday, I noticed a very light pink spotting that's unlike my pre/post period spotting. Today, I have even more light pink spotting. But still not with that "super fertile" cervical fluid that's supposed to get you knocked up like a drunk sixteen year old in the back of her boyfriend's pickup truck "on her very first time." Gah.

Oh, and P hasn't been interested in sex in days.

I was lamenting my problem last night during my newfound insomnia. One of the big problems that IF couples and TTC couples seem to face has to do with the sex-on-demand thing. It occurred to me that we've never really had that problem. And why not? Is it because we're both so hot for each other that timing is irrelevant? Is it because P is freakishly involved and takes my temperature each morning and record it on my chart and pay attention to when it's show time? Is P so dense that he hasn't caught on to my clever seduction techniques that come out at regular intervals? Nope. Not really.

It's that in the beginning I decided that I didn't want to pressure P to ever have sex just for this when he didn't feel like it. So I never have. This has worked for us fairly well. He knows I don't see him as a giant sperm factory and so he hasn't come to resent the process of baby-making (infertility and treatment aside.) I know that there have been times that there was virtually no chance of a spontaneous pregnancy (again, IF aside) because of crappy sex timing. It bums me out sometimes, but I think it's the best thing for our marriage.

So here I am. Stupid spotting, stupid strange crampy feeling, stupid uninterested husband, stupid burned tongue from dinner.

Shocking that I can't get laid.

1 comment:

Cat, Galloping said...

I would never have gotten pregnant if I hadn't forced A to have sex when the OPK told us to... Pressure, schmessure...