Monday, September 29, 2008

and back to the doctor we go

Birdie spiked a high fever again last night.
Her symptoms have never fully cleared up.
She still has a fever even with round the clock tylenol.
The thermometer will now only read "err"

all = another visit to the ped

Poor baby can't sleep and she looks quite pitiful and miserable with her red eyes.  She didn't even finish her very favorite lunch in the whole world (yogurt.)  =(

Friday, September 26, 2008

Tunisian Death Flu.

A week two weeks, in review:

Birdie got sick.

P got sick.

I remained healthy.

Birdie improved a lot.

P improved a lot.

P had an unfortunate accident with paint stripper leaving chemical burns on one leg.

P got sicker.

I got sick.

I got sicker.

I think we're all on the mend now.  My head feels like I'm under water and I have cotton in my ears, but I no longer feel compelled to call my loved ones for one final goodbye.

And that's what I've been doing.  You?

Sunday, September 21, 2008

...and then I thought to myself,

"I really want to remember this moment, this feeling, right now."

Birdie and I were playing in her room.  Actually, I was sitting on the floor, reading a paperback book and Birdie was playing.  I watched her as she crawled over to her books and selected one.  (I am so puffed up with pride and joy that she often chooses books to chew over other toys.)  This time, she opened a book on her lap and inspected a family of bears.  

She looked up from her book and grinned at me.  

A perfect moment.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Is there anyone out there who feels as though they wouldn't change a thing if they could?

Today I exploded a little.  Not in an angry way (ok, there were some angry bits) but mostly in a "there's-too-much-inside-and-something's-bound-to-come-out" sort of way.  There have been a lot of little things (and some not-so-little ones) building up around here making it a generally unpleasant place to be.    I think the air has finally been cleared a little.  

Are things better?  I don't know.  I got to have my say, but I'm not totally satisfied with all the answers I got.  I don't really have a choice about that though, since I'm not in charge of the world.

I think that's something I never considered.  That there would be times, in marriage, in life, that you just aren't satisfied with how things have turned out AND you may not be able to or want to do anything about that.  

Probably doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but it's meaningful to me.  I guess we make compromises about things all the time and we don't even realize we're doing it.  

Tuesday, September 16, 2008


I'm sitting here alone tonight (well, as alone as I ever am with my zoo) and I'm kind of down.  It's one thing when P is away for work, sure I miss him, but I get why he is wherever he happens to be.  But sometimes (like now), when he's out with friends, just having fun... I just feel ... very on my own.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

One Thing I Won't Miss When We Move (Again.)

How freaking slow do you have to be driving to be passed by the MAIL MAN???

Wednesday, September 10, 2008


I'm pretty sure I was able to keep it inside, but ouch.

"How old is your baby?"

"Nine months."

"Oh, she's so tiiiiiiiiny."

It's not the first time someone has said that to me and usually I just think that they must all have gigantor babies or their babies are teenagers and they've forgotten or they're just not good judges of size.  I used to just shrug it off because for a long time Birdie was in the 95% for length and has the thighs to match.  Now?  Yeah, she's not that big percentage-wise any longer.  But she IS average (I don't want to look up the number.)

I know people don't mean anything by it, and blah, blah, blah, but I still shrink inside a little when I hear it.  My heart stops just for a second now when someone asks me how old my baby is and I wonder if she's comparing my baby to hers.  And I hate that I think about that at all.

Monday, September 08, 2008


I no longer have access to my bookmarks & my blogroll is completely gone.  I usually don't care if you go anon, but it would help me a lot if you could fill in the url field just once (especially if you don't have a blogger profile where I might be able to find you.)  

If I haven't commented lately, this is probably why.  I just can't seen to find time to track everyone down right now.


oops. sorry.

I meant to update last week, I swear.

Birdie gained back the weight she lost.  And then some.  So, YAY.

I'm not going to go all into what we did to get her there right now because honestly, I'm a little tired of talking about it, hearing opinions, listening to suggestions, etc.  No one has done anything wrong, I'm just a little burned out.

The ped did say that failure to thrive is fairly rare in breastfed babies Birdie's age.  This didn't make me feel better or worse.  We're still watching her and she still has to go for weight checks, but the situation is much less alarming/dire/panic-inducing. 

Thursday, September 04, 2008

go ahead - laugh and point

Before Birdie was born we got a bunch of bibs.  I hate bibs, always have.  I think it's because I see pics of babies wearing them when they're not eating (yeah, I get that they're probably for drool then) but I still don't like the "look" of them.

Since BFing went well (then, haha) we never used a bottle and honestly, I thought having all those bibs was a little silly.  I mean, they just sat there sad, lonely, unused, in a basket in the closet.  I seriously didn't see myself using them.  At all. 

Until we increased the solids to 3x/day.

I get it now.