Monday, June 26, 2006

Playing to my own crowd

You know when you have this thing that you think makes you a lunatic and someone says to you, "I do that too" and you think, "Wow, I'm not alone, maybe I'm not so crazy!" and then a little bit later you realize that you failed to consider the possibility that you're both nuts?

Yeah, that happened to me.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

I am, most certainly, completely insane

There I was, standing in the aisle filled with baking supplies. Usually I hurry through this aisle, as I almost never need anything in it, and the boxes of coffee cake mix are far too tempting when I'm weak.

But not this day.

On this day, I lingered. I knew turning my cart into the aisle, looking at the spices and oils and sugars that I was going to stop. I had one thing on my mind: chocolate frosting. I needed to find some chocolate frosting that I could eat from the container, health be damned. And as I stood there, pondering the merits of milk chocolate vs. chocolate fudge and Pillsbury vs. Betty Crocker, I realized that I was probably more than a little crazy.

I'm pretty sure that once you've decided you're going to eat the frosting directly from the container with or without a spoon like a fat cow, you no longer need to analyze the various candidates and select the winner based on its freaking sugar/fat/sodium content.

Just pick one so you can later fish it out of the grocery bag while still in the parking lot and have a fingerful right there in the front seat of the car, you raving psycho.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Brought to you by the letter W

W is for Waiting. I'm waiting to be a mom, waiting for my next period, waiting for stims, waiting to hear back about a master's program I'm interested in, waiting for the dryer to beep, waiting for my refund check from my old phone company. Update: it'a a no-go on the master's program, at least for now.

W is for Wildlife. In addition to the ducks, I've also seen a muskrat (had no idea what the thing was, thought a "muskrat" was a fake animal, had to google) and a blue heron and some turtles and a snake. P saw a deer and I missed it.

W is for Window Washing. I have 16 windows and two glass doors. I've used up 34 trees cleaning them.

W is for Wicked. How awesome was that show? I'm so seeing that again! Defying Gravity is my new favorite song.

W is for White-trash Window covering. Due to the down comforter issue, I'm renewing the search for bedding. I've been reluctant to purchase curtains until I finalize the bedding because if it didn't match I couldn't stand it. Yes, I do realize that some people have actual problems.

W is for Wishy-Washy. I'm pretty sure the cashiers are going to notice soon that I keep buying and returning things. I bought two dresses (for my mom's Wedding) and returned one. I've bought three different silverware drawer organizers only to find out that none of them fit. I bought a cordless phone for the wall in the kitchen but there's no outlet nearby so that has to be exchanged for a corded one. I'm returning the aforementioned comforter and the pillows I bought to match. I'm usually such a pain in the ass who takes forever to make a purchase thoughtful shopper that I actually feel bad for returning things.

W is for Where are my tickets? I think P gave me tickets to a concert in February. Before the move. And I just realized that I'm not entirely sure where they are. And he doesn't know yet. And the concert is next week. I better get off the damn internet and go look. Update: I found them. If I forget again, tell me to look by the alcohol.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

good mama

P called me out into the front yard where we saw a family of ducks. As he approached them to take a picture, the mama duck quacked at him and herded her babies across the street.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

More Cat Pictures

The boys are adjusting nicely to their new home. I'm pretty sure big kitty thinks he hit the jackpot, as this house is the biggest we've had yet (and has the most windows.) The little one might not know we moved.

Who doesn't love napping in a pedestal sink?

We don't know how long he was up there before we noticed him. We don't know how he got up there. He did look mildly concerned about his prospects for getting back down.

There are many windows to monitor. They often run from the front to the back of the house to track bugs, birds, etc. as they perform their watch duties.

The backyard is endlessly fascinating, however the pull of a morning nap in the sunshine is often too strong to resist.

Monday, June 12, 2006


5. Do you know the secret to not having your down comforter look messy on the bed once you put a duvet cover on it?

Ok, I was kinda hoping one you YOU would know the secret and tell ME. I've come up with these possible solutions:

1) Do nothing and have a messy looking bed. Ok, I couldn't even let that one stand, it's that absurd.
2) Discover that your husband is possibly allergic to the hypoallergenic down comforter and run various experiments that include benadryl, claritin, sleeping with the window open and then shut, removing the comforter and returning it to the store.

Now, which sounds like more fun to you?

Cats, I got clips that go on the inside and did a pretty decent job keeping it in place. Want em?

1. What's leatherman juice s2?

I blew it on this one. I meant the squirt p4. (P has the juice s2 and bugged me to buy it for so long it got stuck in my head.) Anyway. The leatherman squirt p4 is a really cool pocketknife. P made fun of me when I first got it (which is bizarre since he gave it to me) because of its size. It's small. It has scissors instead of pliers, which I find far more useful. I mean, how often do you reach for your handy pliers when you're out and about? Not often. But if you're carrying scissors, you can snip loose threads, price tags, security tags, and someone's hair if they're in front of you in line and they have 16 items in the express lane. Who, me? Nope, just putting my pliers back in my purse.

It's shiny and beautiful and red. And I use it a lot. And P has since eaten his words and borrowed it several times because he can't be bothered to go look for scissors. Hello! They're in the drawer. The same drawer I always hide them in! But, no, please, search my purse because that's easier.


And did the B&N card pay for itself?

YES! However, I think that's mostly because we made it part of our routine to go to B&N on the weekend and look around, read magazines, and buy overpriced coffee beverages fairly regularly. Each week we'd buy a beverage, a snack, and then our mags/books while making fun of the students who brought their homework to the bookstore and sat there for hours over one mostly empty frappuccino (ok, so we bitched about this when there were no tables available because some people are table hogs and only have a plastic cup of water and a calculus book, but whatever.)

We saved around $80 after the cost of the card, which I'm pretty sure just paid for the 'bucks we drank there each week.


Next up:

4. Yes! Always more cat pictures!

Wednesday, June 07, 2006


I have mean things to say about:
my doctor
above-ground pools and chain link fences
my silverware-drawer plight

however, since I've been tagged by Angie (OMG, really? someone reads here? and wanted to tag me?) I'll take this opportunity to not whine. For now.

Five Items in my Fridge
Smirnoff Ice
Pur water dispenser
Arizona Southern Style Sweet Tea (this is my new crack!)

(hmmm... all beverages. perhaps I'm thirsty. I actually have a lot of stuff in there. do you care about all my salad dressings, dips, and vegetables?)

Five Items in my Closet
spare towels
laundry hamper
bag of purses I don't use

Five Items in my Car
satellite radio
prescription glasses so I can see at night
box of shot glasses from each state we passed through on our trip
toilet paper that I haven't brought inside yet

Five Items in my Purse
leatherman juice s2 (love the scissors!) ACK! I meant squirt s4. P has the juice.
dental floss (I hate having something in my teeth)
sharpie mini
small notebook (where I've recorded each purchase made at B&N since last year when we bought their discount card because I wanted to be sure that it paid for itself. Also, I get ideas and I have to write them down.)

Um, I have to boss Five Other People? Last time I asked for participation it didn't go so well, so instead I'll ask you Five Questions.

1. Did you learn something new I should expand on?
2. Are you even more bored with me? (you know what? don't answer that.)
3. Do you wish I would go back to bitching?
4. Would you rather see more cat pictures?
5. Do you know the secret to not having your down comforter look messy on the bed once you put a duvet cover on it?

Monday, June 05, 2006

Top Ten Reasons to Love a Burst Cyst

10. quality middle-of the night time spent with your cats since you're down on the floor anyway

9. the added exercise you get when you realize all of your painkillers are at the complete opposite side of the damn house

8. finding out where the hospital is in your new city even if you don't end up going

7. not having to go out to breakfast when you really didn't want to but were going to anyway because your husband wanted to

6. finding you on the stairs shivering and only mostly conscious turns a tired, cranky husband into a helpful, caring sweetheart (who might drive you nuts by asking you every 30 minutes if you're feeling better. but hey, he's asking!)

5. funny tumor jokes made at the expense of your fibroid (poor bastard gets blamed for everything around here!)

4. staying in bed watching "Honey, We're Killing the Kids" for hours because you're too tired to do anything else

3. drug-induced naps

2. wearing fat pants, loose pants, or no pants is perfectly acceptable

1. decisions made for the indecisive. worried about your upcoming cycle? don't bother because your doctor will be very reluctant to let you go anyway. problem solved!

Friday, June 02, 2006

On our trip...

My boys inherited this bed from my mom's dog who never liked it.

At first, only my big kitty liked it.

Then, the "little" one discovered the glory of the bed.

But what happens when the little one won't get up when the big one wants to have a nap?

You sit on his insubordinate ass until he moves!

Sharing the bed is a tight squeeze, but it can be done if you must.

(none of the couches in these pictures are mine, they all live in various hotels.)

The loop

What's up with the all the disappearing blogs? Bueller?