Thursday, October 27, 2005

Today I'm feeling:

1) anxious. We move in 6 months. I'm not worried about the things we actually need to do, because that's the easy part. I'm worried about selling our house, how long it will or won't take, where we'll live after the house sells but before we move, and where we'll live when we get to NewCity. How hard is it going to be to sneak the kitties in/out of hotels? (there are no pet-friendly hotels here.) You can never have too many things to feel anxious about.

impatient. I want to move. NOW. I'm ready to see a new doctor and actually work towards getting pregnant (how cynical is that? I don't consider sex or metformin helpful at all!) I want to do something new. I can hardly believe I stopped at the clinic here almost a year ago. I want to feel confident about my care/treatment again and I want my hope back!

concerned. Someone I care about has been diagnosed with a rare and progressive cancer. If the diagnosis stands, the prognosis is not good. Second opinion at MajorCancerCenter is next week. Numb.

disconnected. My mom is getting married soon. I don't know exactly when, but soon. It sucks that I'm not there. I want to go with her to pick out a dress. I want to help her plan, admire the ring, and generally feel like I'm a part of the family again. I started crying during Gilmore Girls when I realized that there would be things I thought I'd do with my mom that I can't.

On the menu tomorrow: TV rant.

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