Is anyone else not planning to take any childbirth classes? Because I seriously can't be the first person ever to think it is unnecessary (for me. you may feel totally different and I respect that. I swear!) I pretty much figure she's going to make an exit from my body one way or another, regardless of breathing technique or maternal preparedness.
When my nurse asked me about it and I told her that we weren't planning on going, she didn't blink. The doctor, however, seemed a bit surprised. As was my neighbor. And my verybestfriend (though after discussing it, she totally got me and she was just thinking that I'd do it because I'd want the "whole experience." bah.)
Did you know that you have to pay for these classes? How do poor people have babies if they can't pay for the classes? I'd rather spend the money on something else. And if you think I'm going to bring my pillow anywhere near a hospital floor, you may as well keep riding the elevator to the psych floor. Also, the whole group thing is really, really not for me. I loathe public participation in classes. Now, if this was a thing where we all got to sit at really big desks, preferably in a recliner of some sort, and listen to someone provide valuable info that I couldn't obtain anywhere else, you'd be much more likely to get me to hand over my credit card. But it's not. I'm pretty sure there are no recliners, and this is not top secret information.
I'm pretty sure I'm the type who will be really annoyed if someone keeps chanting "breathe" at me. As I commented on someone else's blog recently, I'd totally give birth alone under a staircase if I thought I could get an epidural delivered there. Between my tendency toward hemorrhagic cysts (remember, where you bleed out into your pelvis? SO fun!) and endo pain, I think I have a handle on my preferred pain-management style. And that, folks, would be drugs and a retreat into my own head. Not a happy place, not a focus object, not "soothing" music, and not my husband telling me what to do!
Maybe I'm just crazy. Maybe it's because I'm a birthing virgin. You can laugh at my ignorance if you like. I may have a horrible experience all because I wasn't prepared enough. But it seems to me that there are plenty of people who end up not getting just what they want regardless of what they do or classes they take. I've already discussed my "birth plan" with my doctor. It was three sentences: "Healthy, live mom. Healthy, live baby. And I'd really rather not have an episiotomy please." He seemed fine with that. At this point, the "how" of birthing just isn't that important to me. Are there things I'm nervous or unsure about? Of course. But I'm thinking everyone is nervous or unsure to some extent, even those who choose to go to classes and write up a detailed birth plan.
I'm most looking forward to the after...
(ok, not the immediate after, really, but you get what I mean.)
*I do intend to sign up for the (free) L&D tour so I can see everything, get preregistered, etc. If I'm ever in the same place as the phone number, my phone, and a calendar, that is.*