Friday, August 31, 2007

At the end of the day, it's the "being a mommy" that's most important to me.

Is anyone else not planning to take any childbirth classes? Because I seriously can't be the first person ever to think it is unnecessary (for me. you may feel totally different and I respect that. I swear!) I pretty much figure she's going to make an exit from my body one way or another, regardless of breathing technique or maternal preparedness.

When my nurse asked me about it and I told her that we weren't planning on going, she didn't blink. The doctor, however, seemed a bit surprised. As was my neighbor. And my verybestfriend (though after discussing it, she totally got me and she was just thinking that I'd do it because I'd want the "whole experience." bah.)

Did you know that you have to pay for these classes? How do poor people have babies if they can't pay for the classes? I'd rather spend the money on something else. And if you think I'm going to bring my pillow anywhere near a hospital floor, you may as well keep riding the elevator to the psych floor. Also, the whole group thing is really, really not for me. I loathe public participation in classes. Now, if this was a thing where we all got to sit at really big desks, preferably in a recliner of some sort, and listen to someone provide valuable info that I couldn't obtain anywhere else, you'd be much more likely to get me to hand over my credit card. But it's not. I'm pretty sure there are no recliners, and this is not top secret information.

I'm pretty sure I'm the type who will be really annoyed if someone keeps chanting "breathe" at me. As I commented on someone else's blog recently, I'd totally give birth alone under a staircase if I thought I could get an epidural delivered there. Between my tendency toward hemorrhagic cysts (remember, where you bleed out into your pelvis? SO fun!) and endo pain, I think I have a handle on my preferred pain-management style. And that, folks, would be drugs and a retreat into my own head. Not a happy place, not a focus object, not "soothing" music, and not my husband telling me what to do!

Maybe I'm just crazy. Maybe it's because I'm a birthing virgin. You can laugh at my ignorance if you like. I may have a horrible experience all because I wasn't prepared enough. But it seems to me that there are plenty of people who end up not getting just what they want regardless of what they do or classes they take. I've already discussed my "birth plan" with my doctor. It was three sentences: "Healthy, live mom. Healthy, live baby. And I'd really rather not have an episiotomy please." He seemed fine with that. At this point, the "how" of birthing just isn't that important to me. Are there things I'm nervous or unsure about? Of course. But I'm thinking everyone is nervous or unsure to some extent, even those who choose to go to classes and write up a detailed birth plan.

I'm most looking forward to the after...

(ok, not the immediate after, really, but you get what I mean.)



*I do intend to sign up for the (free) L&D tour so I can see everything, get preregistered, etc. If I'm ever in the same place as the phone number, my phone, and a calendar, that is.*

11 comments:

Twisted Ovaries said...

Oh I'm not doing the birthing classes, either. We couldn't think of anything WORSE than doing them. I absolutely support others if that's what they want to do, but the idea of the classes filled me with a horror I haven't felt since learning that jersey cling knit was in fashion.

Heather said...

To each her own. I'm not sure if I will ever do them or not. I probably will, just because I'm the type that worries. I worry they will teach me something that I didn't know and it could make a difference. I don't think I will ever use a focus object or a "happy" place. I do believe in breathing techniques...but I really really want drugs.

Furrow said...

I really wouldn't be taking one if it wasn't being taught by my doula. I figure it's the method she's going to want to use (hypnobirthing), so I better know what it's all about. We got a discount since we were already paying her for her services (though it was still a substantial cost), we've done three classes in a six class series, and I already feel I've gotten enough out of it. For the sake of my Friday nights, I wish it were over, but I'm hoping I'll be glad in the end. At the very least, it couldn't hurt.

Cat, Galloping said...

I didn't do them, though this was in part because I knew I was having a scheduled C. When I asked my OB, he said I could just watch a couple of Baby Stories. Hee!

Jamie said...

I caved and signed up for the classes... but the thought of actually going makes me want to vomit. I hate the idea of being in that type of environment -- but I'm scared they might tell me something I should know... we shall see if I actually go through with it.

Our classes are free so at least if I bail I won't be out any $$.

carosgram said...

I've had 2 'natural childbirths' and I think you have the right attitude. Drugs are the way to go. The epidurals they have now are great and I see no special honor in pain. All you want is a healthy baby and that is what I want for you. None of the rest is important at all.

Liv said...

I took classes.... 3 over a 3 week period if I remember correctly. I didn't want to but the military required it (at the time, I don't know if that is the case anymore). Honestly, I read so many pregnancy and childbirth books before I got pregnant, just in case, that all the information that they gave me at class was old news. Mainly what they covered for me was the labor and birthing process. They touched only a little on breathing and E and I thought we had it covered when we practiced at home. However when it came to labor time the nurse had me breathe a different way through the contractions which worked better I guess. I also fell asleep after the epidural which for me, getting that damn thing was the worst part of labor. When I woke up the doc told me to sit up and she just slid right out. So, I didn't have any of that 'pushing for 5 hours' drama either. The best part about the classes was that E learned something.

Irish Girl said...

Having just watched a vaginal birth, in person, and up close ... I can tell you it matters little how you *think* it's going to go. Your body and the baby will handle it however which way it's supposed to happen. If it was me, I'd forgo the classes too. Trust me ... there will be people there helping you along and doing what *you* need at any particular moment.

Also? May I add the epidural is a fo'sure for me, too ;-) They don't always work or they work in varying degrees but still I'd be all about giving it a try!

Like the RN told our patient when things got really hard: "your body was made to do this! you can do this!" Truth.

Karen said...

My nurse asked me if I was planning to take any childbirth classes and I said, "Why? I've got a 98% chance of a c-section, right?" And she pointed out that there are c-section-specific classes available and I said, "yeah, and there they'll explain the pre-op procedure, the epidural process, what happens in a c-section procedure itself, and they'll show a video of a c-section. This is all stuff I know and I'm good with it. I mean, I don't love the epidural part, but the class isn't going to fix that." She conceded that there was probably no point whatsoever in me taking any such class.

If I were having a singleton, I think I still wouldn't bother. I'm pretty sure many women before me have figured out the whole childbirthing thing on their own. I've got a good handle on how to deal with pain (I have NO desire for an epidural EVER). I've had more than a dozen kidney stones, I have a lot of chronic pain. I'm not worried about the pain... that's fleeting. I just want a baby (or, um, you know, three). I don't see this as a difficult process save for the rare instance with complications (e.g. a triplet delivery...).

Angie said...

It's really a personal choice. Our hospital offers them for free, and they are squeezed into one day (Saturday). I'm also taking a free BF class that our local health dept. offers. I haven't signed up for a tour of the hospital, thanks for mentioning it! :-)

Sarah said...

i'm doing one of those quickie express classes too, which is basically the tour and some basic info. my approach is a lot like yours (my birth plan is: "Safe"). i guess i'm just okay with relying on my doctors and labor nurse and don't feel a big urge to try to take control of it all. but i do want to know some more about what to expect, what decisions i will be asked to make, etc. mainly the tour and feeling like i know where to go is the part i'm looking forward to.