Naps are going better. I've been making an effort to get us up in the morning a bit earlier (we were lazing in my bed too long, I think) and having Birdie get up and play a little has made a big difference in getting the naps started for the day. She still cries a bit going down, but it's not usually for too long and she seems better rested when she wakes up, even if she is just like me in that she seems grumpy for a few minutes until she's ready to interact and then she's her usual happy self. She's also doing most/some naps in her crib, which is a huge change.
Night sleeping still not going well, even with the earlier bed time. I'm hoping that it'll settle out when whatever the problem is is resolved (is she overtired? teething? growing? working on brain/physical development?) She's been spending the bulk of the night in our bed and I'm accepting it for now. I put her down alone and then at some point I bring her with me. I just don't have the energy or clarity to do anything else yet.
So here's how tired I am. It was something like 2am (I'm not sure, my eyes were too blurred to tell) and Birdie wouldn't fall asleep. I made her stop "comfort nursing" and she couldn't seem to settle down for sleep without sucking.
The idea popped in my head that I could somehow "love" her to sleep. I gave her a hug and cuddled her close (not smother-y close, promise) and just willed her to sleep with the sheer power of my brain and mommy love.
For the record, this does not work.