Thursday, April 03, 2008

Recovery (sometimes TMI)

I think I recovered well from the surgical part of having Birdie. I was eager to get up and about asap, since I heard that it would make a difference. I moved around when I could, and I stayed on top of my pain meds, and I was ready to go home quickly. Yeah, it hurt to laugh or cry or cough, but I expected that and it really wasn't too bad. I had Birdie on Thursday evening and was released on Sunday morning.

My doctor was surprised that I wanted to go already (I guess people stay longer?) but was fine with sending me home. The only problem was that I had the feeling that "they" wouldn't let me go home unless I was off pain meds, so I stopped taking anything but motrin (no one told me I couldn't leave on meds, I think it was just hormonal paranoia.) I wish I had gone home with a little something more, but it was still manageable. I've seen a lot made of the benefits of stool softeners, and I was prepared for problems. I took one when offered, but it gave me severe diarrhea. That was one of my very least favorite parts of all.

I vacillated a lot between "just fine" and "emotional wreck" for the first few weeks. I got mad at my mom the first night she was there because she was "being too high maintenance" even though it wasn't a big deal. I cried and had a meltdown when the nurse came to take Birdie away "so I could sleep" and I wouldn't let her go. It was awful for me because I felt like I had no control. I finally let her go for three hours. I made it my mission to stay awake as much as humanly possible from then on out because I couldn't stand the thought of them taking my baby away. I was exhausted by the time I was released from the hospital.

My incision was a little oozy at the end of the first week.
I had stitches, not staples, and I healed up just fine.
My bleeding was heavyish for the first two days, but pretty light afterward, though it was very light for several weeks.

I would stare at my baby and cry because I knew that she would never be that small ever again. I still tear up about this. It's going too quickly. Obviously I want her to grow up healthy and strong, but I also want to freeze time. I've loved each stage (except teething. teething can bite me. ha.) and my little girl keeps getting bigger and bigger. I don't know if I'll ever have another baby and it makes me sad that there are so many things that are over already.

3 comments:

Liv said...

That's one of the downfalls of having a baby. They never stay the way you want them to. Like all kids they are on their own schedule. And I understand your concern about not knowing whether you will have more.

I took lots of pics of Dani. I spent all of my time with her. The only thing I didn't do, that now I wish I had, was journal. You will remember so many things later on because you have this blog.

You're baby growing is one of the saddest and proudest aspects of being a mother.

Sarah said...

me too :(

Sarah said...

me too :(