Thursday, April 03, 2008

Recovery (sometimes TMI)

I think I recovered well from the surgical part of having Birdie. I was eager to get up and about asap, since I heard that it would make a difference. I moved around when I could, and I stayed on top of my pain meds, and I was ready to go home quickly. Yeah, it hurt to laugh or cry or cough, but I expected that and it really wasn't too bad. I had Birdie on Thursday evening and was released on Sunday morning.

My doctor was surprised that I wanted to go already (I guess people stay longer?) but was fine with sending me home. The only problem was that I had the feeling that "they" wouldn't let me go home unless I was off pain meds, so I stopped taking anything but motrin (no one told me I couldn't leave on meds, I think it was just hormonal paranoia.) I wish I had gone home with a little something more, but it was still manageable. I've seen a lot made of the benefits of stool softeners, and I was prepared for problems. I took one when offered, but it gave me severe diarrhea. That was one of my very least favorite parts of all.

I vacillated a lot between "just fine" and "emotional wreck" for the first few weeks. I got mad at my mom the first night she was there because she was "being too high maintenance" even though it wasn't a big deal. I cried and had a meltdown when the nurse came to take Birdie away "so I could sleep" and I wouldn't let her go. It was awful for me because I felt like I had no control. I finally let her go for three hours. I made it my mission to stay awake as much as humanly possible from then on out because I couldn't stand the thought of them taking my baby away. I was exhausted by the time I was released from the hospital.

My incision was a little oozy at the end of the first week.
I had stitches, not staples, and I healed up just fine.
My bleeding was heavyish for the first two days, but pretty light afterward, though it was very light for several weeks.

I would stare at my baby and cry because I knew that she would never be that small ever again. I still tear up about this. It's going too quickly. Obviously I want her to grow up healthy and strong, but I also want to freeze time. I've loved each stage (except teething. teething can bite me. ha.) and my little girl keeps getting bigger and bigger. I don't know if I'll ever have another baby and it makes me sad that there are so many things that are over already.


Liv said...

That's one of the downfalls of having a baby. They never stay the way you want them to. Like all kids they are on their own schedule. And I understand your concern about not knowing whether you will have more.

I took lots of pics of Dani. I spent all of my time with her. The only thing I didn't do, that now I wish I had, was journal. You will remember so many things later on because you have this blog.

You're baby growing is one of the saddest and proudest aspects of being a mother.

Sarah said...

me too :(

Sarah said...

me too :(