So, I'm sitting in my blue recycling bin and floating on the water. There are dolphins swimming all around me, propping me up on the water's surface since my bin is not exactly a flotation device. But there are sharks in the water. I haven't seen one, but I know they're out there and I'm afraid.
***
Last night my back was really bothering me and I couldn't get comfortable. Then I began to have some light cramping and other miscellaneous pains in the general ute area. (without bleeding, so that's a mark in the sigh-of-relief column) I drifted off to sleep, woke up, snapped at P for commenting on the fact that I fell asleep on the couch again, and went to bed.
Next ultrasound is on Friday. It may or may not be too early to hear a heartbeat. God, I hope it has one.
I'm starting to feel the fear creep back in.
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3 comments:
what you got there is an anxiety dream... i'm sorry friday is still so far away! i will be optimistic on your behalf, if you don't feel you can be right now. NBHHY, after all!
Gah. This is a perfect example of exactly how much of a mindf*ck infertility is. Agree with Cat: anxiety dream. Also that I will be optimistic. And supportive.
Waiting with you for Friday.
good luck at the ultrasound today!
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