Busy, Part 1

Moving is a huge pain in the ass, that’s a given.

1. You should know that there are several people who have been cursed. If you set up an appointment to see my house and didn’t show up there’s a good chance you’re on the list. If you did this to me two days in a row, you can be sure of it.

2. MORON. You who asked me if I was taking the cats with me. Yes, you. You’re a flippin’ moron. Yeah, the cats come with the house. They catch lizards, so that makes them practically appliances. You didn’t drive here, did you?

3. My dear boys, I am so sorry that I have allowed the endless parade of strangers into your home. You’ve been scared, I know, and I’m especially sorry that you were discovered in your behind-the-shower-curtain hiding spot. That must’ve been frightening. Don’t worry, I took care of that bitch for you. Unfortunately, the move is going to get a whole lot worse before it gets better. Really, really sorry.

***

We’re under contract now and some poor schlep is going to buy our house with our asshole neighbors and the dogs and the kid that never stops screaming. Hope they like it.

I am delighted that all our hard work paid off though, as one of the things they said they liked about our house in particular is that it is so clean and well taken care of! I may be obsessive, but it got us a damn good offer.

Hope their financing comes through…