- P was not able to make the hospital tour, and I was the only person to show up without a husband or boyfriend. The lady giving the tour made me announce this to the group by asking really loudly if I was alone or if we were waiting on someone.
- The nurse walked much too quickly, given that all of us were within eight weeks of being due, and my pelvis was quite sore.
- The L&D rooms are nice, though the one she showed us, for some strange reason, had no bed (the others were all occupied.)
- We were not able to see the recovery/mom&baby area because they don't let people observe in that area in the evening. Yet they only schedule evening tours.
- We saw the nursery. While everyone was oohing and ahhing over the (two) brand-new babies in there, I felt awful. One baby was awake and lying there alone in her bin in a diaper and moving her mouth all around. It was clear to me that she ought to be with her mother and I was barely able to stop myself from tearing up. Hormones.
- It was explained to us that they "allow" the babies to stay in the L&D room with the mom for an hour before they take them to the nursery. For FOUR hours. I was the pain in the ass person who wouldn't let this go and kept asking why this was policy even for healthy babies and healthy moms.
- I did not get an answer I was happy with. So what if dads are "allowed" to go with the baby to the nursery? Who cares if I'd rather have him go with her than stay with me? Why on earth should I have to make that choice at all if we're all healthy?
- "So you're interested in non-separation?" the nurse asked me. Well, I hadn't really thought about it that way. I mean, I don't have a problem with her going to the nursery for some stuff (or lots of stuff, if it's medically necessary) but I just don't see the benefit of taking a newborn away from her mother for four hours when there's nothing wrong. One thing the nurse tried to bring up was temperature control, but as I understand it the best way for babies to get that down is skin-to-skin contact with mom. I mean, up until an hour before that, she'd have been living INSIDE of ME, so... Anyway, I was given the name and number of someone I need to work it out with if I don't want my baby taken away.
- It felt very polarizing, as though I was being forced to choose sides. Some of the other parents were looking at me as though I was dense or something and just couldn't understand what the lady was saying, but I did notice one other mom-to-be nodding. She thanked me after for asking my questions, which made me feel much better and much less crazy.
- After talking to the nurse one-on-one I liked her better (and I think she liked me better when I wasn't calling her out in front of the group) and I do like this hospital overall. The people I've met have all been very friendly and we know a couple of people who work there. It's five minutes from my house. My OB only delivers there, so unless I want to make some big changes (which I do not) I have to find a way to work within this system. Hopefully I'm able to do this to my satisfaction.
- I also like the level of security they have. (I'm sure my little girl will look just lovely with her little felon-lite ankle bracelet on!)
Friday, October 12, 2007
on tour
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6 comments:
I think those were great questions and points to make. I hate that we can't do a hospital tour til 8w before the due date, because it really is too late to change at that point. Good for you for standing up for yourself and your little one!
If there's one thing that still bugs me about Gatito's birth, it's the fact that they took him away and I didn't get him back for four hours, when they'd promised I'd have him back in one hour-- that basically he'd be done and I'd be done (being sewn up, etc.) at the same time. I was FREAKING OUT by then. So definitely call that number and tell P to get ready to fight for you on the day of, since you probably won't quite have your wits about you to do it.
Definitely good questions. Make sure the husband is well versed on what you do and don't want to happen in the nursery, however long she has to stay there. Even at a hospital like the one I'm going to, where they encourage continuous rooming in, and have dad and mom (if possible) accompany the baby to the nursery for the necessary stuff, there is the possibility of pacifiers and formula being snuck in, and for me, that's going to be a no-no. If B ends up going to the nursery w/o me, I'll have to prep him for what to watch for (as soon as I figure it all out).
FWIW, at my tour, there were several solo moms, and they seemed to be married.
Those were fantastic questions. Granted, I'm still far away from that kind of decision, but I am nodding right along with you.
I can't believe that EVERY parent there didn't have the same concerns. In Australia we do the tour quite early in the pregnancy (when you are still deciding which hospital to book in to) and that was a big plus for my hospital - that they allow and encourage continuous rooming in.
Plus you are right about the skin to skin contact, that is one thing my midwifes keep saying is so important.
Good luck in your mini battle to keep your little girl with you straight after birth. :)
it seems that more and more hospirtals are letting babies stay with moms these days, and i'm surprised they don't make it easier or have more people requesting it. hopefully your questions will help bring their attention to it. you're so right about the baby who was mouthing, it would be so much better for getting breastfeeding going if at least there was an attentive nurse there who brought the baby to you when they noticed that sign.
my hospital has the same issue with not letting you see the recovery rooms on the tour, i wonder what's up with that? i guess when i'm in recovery i'll appreciate that there aren't tour groups passing through the halls, but that was the part i most wanted to see!
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