Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping...

Day 1:

1. Call in refills for gonal-f, ovidrel, and antibiotics
2. Go to pharmacy to pick up prescriptions
3. See pharmacy tech retrieve a suspiciously small bag
4. Wonder where the hell the boxes of gonal-f are
5. Tech tells you they're out of gonal-f (even though no one called to tell you this)
6. Tech tells you that you are only getting about half the pens that you got on your initial prescription
7. Attempt to remain calm and reasonable
8. Ask why the fuck you don't get the full amount
9. Be treated to a math equation completely irrelevant to the problem at hand
10. Hear tech blame insurance company and tell you that you must take it up with them
11. Oh, and come back tomorrow

Day 2

1. Get headache at the thought of discussing the problem with insurance company
2. Try to figure out the problem yourself so that you can argue effectively
3. Try to explain the problem to husband
4. Have husband reassure you that you are not crazy and they are wrong
   
5. Realize that pharmacy has now closed

Day 3

1. Call insurance company
2. Wait on hold
3. Verify every possible bit of personal information
4. They can't help you, but they can give you another number to call
5. Call new number
6. Verify every possible bit of personal information
7. Relate problem
8. Wait on hold so the person on the other line can "try to understand" the rules regarding this particular drug
9. Watch an episode of The Cosby Show while on hold
10. Be told that the pharmacist must have entered the quantity incorrectly so it's not an insurance issue
11. Be told that by the way, we have the wrong birthday for you, you need to fix that
12. Call birthday fixing number
13. Verify every possible bit of personal information
14. Person on the phone says that your birthday isn't wrong
15. Spin in a circle and scream
16. Call pharmacy back to tell them about the quantity thing
17. Tech tells you that the quantity isn't wrong, it's a new prescription (not a refill) that was mailed to the pharmacy (even though you have no idea why that would be)
18. Tech suggests calling the doctor's office if you have questions about the prescription
19. Call the doctor's office and leave a message for someone to call you back
20. Realize that you haven't eaten lunch and are very hungry
21. Wait
22. Wonder if you'll get your call before the pharmacy closes
23. Type this list
24. Debate posting now or saving as draft to find out what happens
25. Smell something foul
26. Wonder if someone woke up from a nap and crapped on the floor
27. Check, find nothing, guess that one of the puppies has gas
28. Realize that you're writing about puppy gas and decide to end the list...

*****UPDATE*****

29. Talk to nurse who has no idea what I'm talking about - they never sent any prescription
30. Wait for nurse to check my records
31. Nurse will call pharmacy with the correct quantity, wait for return call
32. Nurse calls back promptly! Problem solved, but mystery still intact. My order has been changed to ten pens (though the pharmacist refused to put it through to insurance while the nice nurse was on the phone to confirm it wasn't an insurance issue)
33. Nurse checks my chart one more time and says, once again, that no prescription has been written for me, but that I can go pick up my pens after I verify that the order went through. Oh, and there are still only six physically in the store
34. Call pharmacist to verify order, he says yes, but could I wait to get my six? he'd rather not do a partial order
35. Refrain from telling him what I'd rather not do
36. Tell him I'm coming to get my six this evening
37. Go to pharmacy to see evil pharmacist
38. Pharmacist surprises me with ten boxes (wow, he really doesn't want to deal with me anymore!)
39. Swipe credit card - declined
40. Swipe credit card again - declined. Say, "This is really not my day!" and confused look from pharmacist
41. Use alternate card, but do not shove first card into any inappropriate orifices
42. Ask to see "handwritten prescription that was mailed over"
43. Pharmacist holds it up to my face, but will not allow me to hold it in my hand. Freakshow. Like I'm going to make off with it to get it filled elsewhere on account of my gonal-f addiction. Asswipe won't let me see the date, but it's my info true enough.
44. Come home, sort pens by expiration date and refrigerate. Think about how nice that nurse was, feed all animals, and realize that I've missed lunch and it's really really dinner time.
45. I'm glad I have even the limited, temporary drug coverage that I have. It won't always be there, so I know how lucky I am to have it at all.

Tomorrow: Find out why my credit card was declined. bah.