frustrated

It's been a rough week.

I'm going to preface this by saying that I've been feeling hypersensitive and frustrated in general. Little things are feeling very big right now. Everything's dire.

-At doctor's office, I have made no progress from last week. The doctor has stopped saying "could be next week, or you could call me tonight." I told the office ladies that if there was a pool, I'd put my money on me making my next appointment.

-Term assessment/biophysical profile/NST day. I registered ZERO contractions. Baby looks great, just completely uninterested in making any sort of exit. The swimming pool and all the room service she wants seems to be the preferable option. It's as if she moves towards the door, notes the fact that it's certainly too narrow, and heads back north.

I, on the other hand, lad a less pleasant hospital experience. I had a BP spike (ok, three or four readings) and a headache while I was there, so I got to spend hours before finally being released. It took two nurses three sticks to get blood because no one ever believes me when I tell them I have shallow veins. Also, I didn't know that I was having a NST (and I didn't know how long they take) so P and I were unprepared to just sit. For hours. And then wait for lab results after the test part was over. We were both bored, tired, hungry, and uncomfortable. My headache went away with two tylenol and a bottle of water and the BP went down with a position change, so I'm not preeclamptic.

-Someone wrote something on her blog that really bothered me. I don't want to specify, but it hurt my feelings and pissed me off. I've thought about this one line many times now, and I'm hoping that I'll be able to just let it go once I'm feeling more like myself.Obviously it's her blog and she's free to feel how she feels, but...

-I think someone flipped a switch on me on my due date. I was doing just fine with things up until *the day* and then suddenly I had this desperate feeling. It was easy to blow off the questions when I could say that "she's not even due yet!" and that *whoever was asking* ought to back off a bit. I was taking things with more humor and felt more relaxed in general about the baby taking her time. Now I'm getting depressed by the no contractions and no real early labor signs. (Babies come on their own schedule, not everyone feels the same things or has the same, if any, early signs, blah, blah, blah, I'd rather not hear any of this, thanks.)

-Our comforter is oversized, so I have to take it to the dry cleaner to be laundered. It is now wrecked and not usable, as all the stuffing is in a big ball in the middle. Just perfect. The weather is getting cold and we're expecting guests soon, so now I have to go shopping. Not what I wanted to spend money on.

-The mortgage payment that I mailed out the first week of the month never arrived, so now I have to do a stop payment and follow up on this. This would be an excellent time to be a fraud victim. Gah.

-And a million other tiny things that are probably no big deal, but are making me nuts anyway. So that's where I am. Here, at home, baby still on the inside.