At the end of the day, it's the "being a mommy" that's most important to me.

Is anyone else not planning to take any childbirth classes? Because I seriously can't be the first person ever to think it is unnecessary (for me. you may feel totally different and I respect that. I swear!) I pretty much figure she's going to make an exit from my body one way or another, regardless of breathing technique or maternal preparedness.

When my nurse asked me about it and I told her that we weren't planning on going, she didn't blink. The doctor, however, seemed a bit surprised. As was my neighbor. And my verybestfriend (though after discussing it, she totally got me and she was just thinking that I'd do it because I'd want the "whole experience." bah.)

Did you know that you have to pay for these classes? How do poor people have babies if they can't pay for the classes? I'd rather spend the money on something else. And if you think I'm going to bring my pillow anywhere near a hospital floor, you may as well keep riding the elevator to the psych floor. Also, the whole group thing is really, really not for me. I loathe public participation in classes. Now, if this was a thing where we all got to sit at really big desks, preferably in a recliner of some sort, and listen to someone provide valuable info that I couldn't obtain anywhere else, you'd be much more likely to get me to hand over my credit card. But it's not. I'm pretty sure there are no recliners, and this is not top secret information.

I'm pretty sure I'm the type who will be really annoyed if someone keeps chanting "breathe" at me. As I commented on someone else's blog recently, I'd totally give birth alone under a staircase if I thought I could get an epidural delivered there. Between my tendency toward hemorrhagic cysts (remember, where you bleed out into your pelvis? SO fun!) and endo pain, I think I have a handle on my preferred pain-management style. And that, folks, would be drugs and a retreat into my own head. Not a happy place, not a focus object, not "soothing" music, and not my husband telling me what to do!

Maybe I'm just crazy. Maybe it's because I'm a birthing virgin. You can laugh at my ignorance if you like. I may have a horrible experience all because I wasn't prepared enough. But it seems to me that there are plenty of people who end up not getting just what they want regardless of what they do or classes they take. I've already discussed my "birth plan" with my doctor. It was three sentences: "Healthy, live mom. Healthy, live baby. And I'd really rather not have an episiotomy please." He seemed fine with that. At this point, the "how" of birthing just isn't that important to me. Are there things I'm nervous or unsure about? Of course. But I'm thinking everyone is nervous or unsure to some extent, even those who choose to go to classes and write up a detailed birth plan.

I'm most looking forward to the after...

(ok, not the immediate after, really, but you get what I mean.)



*I do intend to sign up for the (free) L&D tour so I can see everything, get preregistered, etc. If I'm ever in the same place as the phone number, my phone, and a calendar, that is.*

placenta update

I had another hospital scan to check the placenta. As a recap, I have a marginal placenta previa (where the placenta is within 5cm of the cervix, but not completely covering the cervix.)

With a complete previa, the only safe delivery option is a c-section, and with a partial or marginal previa, a c-section is considered a good option when the placenta is close enough to be a hemorrhage risk. Most (upwards of 90%) low-lying, marginal, or partial previas move up as the uterus grows in the second trimester and do not pose any danger to the mom or baby once they've moved away from the cervix.

Mine hasn't moved. Not a bit. I'm still at 2cm. I would have expected to see some movement by the third trimester, so I'm not sure if I should expect it to go anywhere at this point. What does this mean?

I could be one of the 10% who doesn't have the placenta move, OR

I'll have the placenta move a bit sometime between now and delivery -and-
-it might not move enough and still may require a c-section for a safe delivery -or-
-it will move enough to have a vaginal delivery

I've seen 5cm away as the threshold for safely delivering vaginally, but it's subjective. I don't yet know what my doctor's opinion is as it was too early to discuss it when we found it and I haven't had my follow-up with him yet. At the very least, I'll likely be going for at least one more hospital ultrasound to check placement and/or movement as we get closer to the end.

on the phone with the inlaws

MIL: So do you have a name yet?

P: Not yet, we're down to those four I told you.

MIL: Well, you have time. Maybe you'll think of some others.


***


P & FIL are talking about nothing.

MIL: (in background, says something P can't make out)

FIL: I'm not asking him about that!

P: ?

FIL: (slightly disgusted) Your mom wants to ask you some questions.

MIL: Is Twirl planning on breastfeeding?

nesting

I like things clean and I love to organize. I have always believed that I'd be a prime candidate to go crazy nesting, but I didn't think it would start this early.

I live in a house with a full basement. Much to my neighbors' shock, it is nearly empty. We have a washer and dryer down there and on one short wall there are some neatly stacked boxes. Mostly holiday stuff, teaching supplies, and books. When we got a new couch, we didn't put the old one down in the basement. When we began to clear out the baby's room, we found a new home for the futon (guest bed) in another room. Being basement newbies, we didn't even realize how much garage stuff could really be basement stuff until last winter. Now the basement is the winter home of P's bicycle and two garden hoses. So you see, we are a curiosity around these parts to those who've always had basements and delighted in filling them with crap. I, on the other hand, am feeling the pressure to get rid of stuff.

I loathe holding yard/garage sales. How much is this? A quarter. Will you take 15 cents? UGH. But it is a good way to get rid of things, and I find myself wanting to take advantage of the end of summer and get rid of some things we don't need. I've considered craigslist, but for some reason that seems like even more work. But I have a million precious moments that are just taking up space in a closet (I collected them once upon a time, but haven't really been interested in them for several years now.) And then there's the microwave that's brand new but hasn't been used in two moves and the baker's rack that doesn't fit in the kitchen, but doesn't match my dining room, and the extra tv set... Too. Much. Stuff.

So I've been thinking about the organization stuff for a while now, but being on light duty, there's not much I can do but plan and obsess. On Saturday I decided that I could no longer stand the dirty carpet in the living room and began to give it a good once over with the vacuum (very carefully, of course) but it wasn't good enough. It looked like there was a lot of dog hair and dirt in the canister, so I took that apart and cleaned it. And then went to work to remove the inner filter and cleaned that. Then I got an exacto knife out and used it to cut away any dog hair left in the brush on the bottom, but couldn't get it clean enough. So I found a screwdriver and took the bottom of the vacuum apart so that I could clean it. Yes, folks, I took apart and cleaned my vacuum this weekend. Heaven help the person who turns off the ceiling fans because I know they're filthy and I have this urge...

I'm also wanting to change my blogger template. I don't feel like fussing with it myself at this point (which is why you have seen no changes) but you just never know.

And I still have 12 weeks to go.

update

I can't believe it, but I passed the GD screening! I really thought I'd need to take the three hour test. For the time, at least, my bagels are safe.

My iron is a tiny bit low, but nothing too concerning.

The baby is (still) a girl, and doesn't look as if she intends to grow any additional parts. We finally got a clear view and I'm very relieved that the doctor was correct before.

Even though I feel her kick a lot now, there's nothing in the world like hearing her heart beating.

It's all relevant to something, I'm sure of it.

1. Today is 27 weeks. Second trimester is very nearly over (or over altogether depending on your counting.)

2. I still have a sore spot on one cheek from the PIO shots. It's not always sore, but it's enough to be a reminder.

3. I had a dream that another blogger was pregnant. She was told she was having a girl and then later found out that it was a second boy. I really, really hope this was not secretly about me. There would be a ton of returns to make.

4. I took my 1hr gestational diabetes screen last week. I'm convinced I failed. I'm thinking I'll get the results at tomorrow's doctor visit. I could make a very long and rambly post about it, but the bottom line is that I'm really scared that I'll eventually have to give up bagels (the ONE food that does not ever cause reflux.) I know I'd have to fail the 3hr too before we start worrying about that, but hey, worrying is the one thing I don't procrastinate about!

5. Um, what else?

hijacking someone else's mommy

P really does not care about nursery furniture. He likes quality, but as far as style goes he claims not to have an opinion (he does, really, he just thinks he doesn't. Believe me, he sure knows what he doesn't like!) So my solution is to do the looking on my own and then show him any possibilities. All of that is to explain why he did/does not go with me when I went/go shopping. My mom can't go with for obvious reasons, and I don't really have any girls to go with so alone it is.

I was in USA Baby and checking out their matte white furniture options. A saleslady had pointed out all of the possibilities and I was walking around alone absorbing them when I noticed that another woman was admiring the same crib as me. We started up a chat about it and I learned that her daughter was pregnant with her first child, a girl, in November, and was looking for matte white furniture. So I offered to show her what the saleslady had showed me and we walked around the store together chatting about cribs and finishes (we both adore cherry, but I'm reluctant because of how scratches/teeth marks show...) and names, etc. Me and someone else's mommy.

So, if you live, you know, here, and your mom mentioned walking around the store with some random pregnant lady, know that your mom was nice to hang with for a bit. Not having your own mom around is rough, but sometimes you get lucky and having a loaner mom, even for an hour, was cool.

So sorry, but this is mostly about baby products (carseats.)

Just a warning.

After exhaustive research, I decided to get the Chicco Keyfit30. It's more expensive to start, but I like that you get more than 4-6 months of use out of it. It gets good feedback from parents and certified carseat techs have rec commended it as well. (I've totally been lurking carseat boards. I have way more info on this topic than I thought I 'd ever need!) Some people balk at the weight, saying that you wouldn't keep carrying it around because it'll get too heavy, but really, who cares if you eventually just leave it in the car and carry your baby another way? Just because it can be used as an infant carrier doesn't mean you're obligated to use it that way when it's uncomfortable.

I didn't place it on my registry yet because as of now the only color out is an ugly orangey-tomato color and I'm hoping the rest of the options come out before November.

I was at Target yesterday and I scored an awesome deal. I picked up a Graco SafeSeat1 (SS1) for just $32.48! Brand new, manufactured this year! They're not carrying them any longer (at least in stores) and I got the last one. They still have them available online for their full price... $129.99! So awesome. So for less than the price of a second infant base I got a whole second seat. This was my second choice seat (again, because of the higher height/weight limits) so I'm totally thrilled with my find. I still kinda want the keyfit, but for now I'm basking in the glory of my excellent deal.

99

Yesterday was a secret milestone for me. I hit the "100 days to go" mark. I didn't tell anyone that I was watching for that day, and developmentally there's nothing special about it, but for me, psychologically, it was important. I've been having internet problems (it took me three days to get that last post up, minus two additional pictures!) and so I forgot to post and now it's 99 days, which is also very exciting. I'm not sure what number I'll latch onto next, and if there is one, I'm not sure I'll remember it because I currently suck at remembering stuff. But I'll let you know. Or at least I'll mean to.

For what it cost, at least it gets plenty of use

My snoogle, (under the blanket) in all its daytime glory:

"so much stuff"

I want to start this by saying that I'm really enjoying being pregnant. I LOVE feeling my little girl kicking and rolling around (though, honestly, I could do without the bladder-grinder part) and I actually feel pretty good about my body. I like thinking baby thoughts even when they seem abstract. My MIL is beyond thrilled and I'm really happy about that. My own mom and grandparents are over the moon as well, even if they're sad it's all happening so far away. Finally, I feel like I can be a source of good and happiness for others instead of a depressing downer.

***

I walked around BRU with my mom once, when I was visiting, and it was kind of fun. I liked going with her and looking at things and seeing how excited she got at the idea of a 9lb stroller that folded up with one hand. I went with P once and was totally amused by him pulling strollers down and test driving them and watching him fold them up but then not being able to pop them open again so that when we left the section there was a line of closed up strollers resting awkwardly on the display shelf (sorry, BRU people, at least we gave you something to do!) And I went one day alone. Mostly, I prefer to shop alone. I like to take my time and look at what I want without worrying about other people. But that day hormones were getting the best of me as I looked around the store and saw people all in pairs. Husbands and wives, mothers and daughters, friends and sisters. I felt alone. Sometimes there are disadvantages to being a loner.

***

With all my unhappiness about the idea of a shower, you may have guessed that registering would also be a challenge for me. Even as I poo-poo-ed the shower idea, I knew I'd still need to do a registry. Our families are spread out over sevenish different states and the "what do they need/want?" question was bound to come up, (and has, frequently) so a registry it is.

Now, I approach baby products like I do everything else. (Exhaustive) research, read reviews, be sure, discuss with P, then purchase. I became obsessed with carseat safety and to that end, I feel very satisfied with my choice. It turns out that the carseat was the easy part. How do I select a pack n play? What color high chair should I choose? Just how important are sheets with elastic all the way around and is a mattress pad even safe for a baby? What's the deal with the diaper genie 2? If we empty the diapers daily does it even matter what type of disposal system we pick? I can easily become overcome with indecision on the trivial things, and safety issues really put me over the top!

So, I've been researching for weeks now. And for weeks now P and I have been getting the "when are you gonna register?" question. At first, it was easy because I was able to say "not until we know the gender" and no one could really argue it. Now that we know.... well, let's just say that people are starting to shop and it's in my best interest to get a registry up and running so that we get the things we really want (I don't really care if people want to buy gifts from wherever, and they are, of course, free to choose what they'd like, but since they're asking...) MIL keeps telling P how we need "so much stuff."

So I've started my registry online and put a handful of things on it. But I still need to go to the actual store and walk around with the damn scanner. And soon. Today maybe?

There's not much of a point to this post, really, but if you have a product that you love, I'd be glad to hear about it.